How do you get someone who doesn't know you to feel comfortable talking?
This is not the time to play hard-to-get, keep a distance, or play mysterious. Instead, take the initiative in creating a welcoming impression. People are wowed by social decisiveness when its' offered with compassion and warmth. How another person perceives you is determined by a number of things you do before you utter your first word.
1. First, give the person a hearty smile. It says, "I'm approachable."
2 Maintain a good balance of eye contact. If you maintain an unblinking stare 100% of the time, that qualifies as leering and that's plain scary. If you keep eye contact less than 70% of the time, you will seem distracted and rude.
3. Unfold your arms and relax. Crossing your arms can make you appear defensive or closed. It also signals tension. Relax! People will pick up on your body language and react accordingly.
4. Nod your head and lean in. Meanwhile, we cautious about invading the other person's space. You just want to show that you are engaged and interested.
5. Learn to touch people. touching is a powerful act. Most people convey their friendly intentions by shaking hands, some go further by shaking with two hands. My favorite way to break through the distance between me and the person I am trying to establish a bond with is to touch the other person's elbow. It conveys just the right amount of intimacy.
